Things should change. Things need to change.
There has been a mighty war going on inside of me for some time. I feel as if I am living multiple lives, that I need to not change for certain people. Some of which is parents, other family, friends or even people whom I’ve never met. I don’t know why I do it, I was just conditioned to care what people think of me. I want to care. I was conditioned to care. I must stop caring.
It’s not that I mean this in a bad way in that I need to become some sort of ass who disregards other people. It’s that I need to do things for me and not care what others think of me making progress in my life. I remember doing this as a kid. I was afraid of doing something different. Of expressing something different than what had been the norm.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately but it’s time to make it public. This blog is going to become an expression of my life. I have some posts in draft state that will be let free at some point in the future. Some things need to happen before I can post them.
Back in college I did some blogging but I scaled back because of comments I got back.. things like that sounds depressing, or why did you say that. I was afraid of what others thought of what was going on in my life. It made me want to give them a pretty cover to the messed up contents that was my lfie. Eventually, I backed off and left things bottled up because I didn’t want to upset normality. My bottom line right now is I need an outlet. Things are stirring within me and I need someplace to express it. I can’t keep this within me any longer.
This blog will be a unique perspective into me, regardless of what others think. You’re welcome to read it, to understand me, to get to know my life. And maybe, this may help you along your journey. If we’re both lucky, our paths may cross and something organic may stir up. There’s only one way to find out and I can tell you it doesn’t happen by inaction, I’ve researched that thoroughly for 26 years.
Things must change.